Brother, no!
by cutekittenlady
Summary: Prompt Request! Zeref is a boy who fears his girlfriend will think him an incapable caretaker. Lucy is a girl who fears she won't be good enough for her boyfriends family. It's only after a trip to a perfume store, a trap, and a kick to the head in a parking lot that the two realize they have no thing to fear. Modern!AU


When Zeref had agreed to go shopping with Mavis he had expected to go to a grocery store, maybe a few clothing stores.

Instead he had been taken to that ever expansive hellscape on earth. The closed in prison of mismatched smells and toxic fumes. That inescapable void from which no man returned in proper health.

The perfume section at the mall.

Once the doorway had stood before him he could have gone back. Said he forgot something at home, and run far far away.

But then he had looked down at Mavis's round happy eyes filled with excitement. Her knee long hair bouncing as she tried to hold in her giddiness. And that smile, dear god that smile.

It was an effective weapon that he had no defense against. Taking a deep breath, Zeref allowed himself to be pulled forward as he became resigned to his fate.

A mix of chemical smells hit him like a bomb and made his stomach churn.

Zeref had little recollection of what his parents had been like, as they had both died when he and his brother were very young. But by personal experience he had developed the theory that through some odd mix of genes the Dragneel family had developed a heightened sense of smell. Both he and his baby brother could pick up long gone smells of food, people, and a myriad of other things.

This worked both for and against them in their daily life. For one Zeref had become a master at being able to tell the freshness of perishables when grocery shopping. He enjoyed the delicious smell of well cooked food, the smell of morning dew was like aromatherapy to him, and when there were bad smells Zeref could find the source and destroy it almost immediately.

But it also meant that every time his brother got sick in the car the lingering smell would haunt him for months, gasoline and the occasional roadkill made driving almost impossible, and of course an overload of smells gave him a headache and made him sick. So naturally a place like a perfume store, where smells constantly floated back and forth, were like torture for the young man. To his credit he remained composed and impassive, even though on the inside he felt like he was going to explode.

In passing he had thought it strange that Mavis would want to come here. He had never smelled the hint of an artificial smell from her in all the time the two had known one another. Everything about her was natural. She used plain unscented shampoo and wash, never used products in her long waves of blonde hair, and never once had he seen even a hint of makeup on her face.

The lack of any artificial dressing was a testament to the young girl's self-confidence. She never once lamented her physical appearance. No matter how often people would mistake her for a child, or point out her rather board like figure. There would be a passing moment of displeasure but otherwise Mavis never took the words seriously. But Zeref remembered Mavis's rather simple simple beginnings and concluded that, like a child, she just wanted to satiate her curiosity.

How naive he had been.

Mavis did ask a few questions. About how the perfume had been made, how it smelled, what perfumes went best with others, etc. But she would quickly move on, deeper and deeper into the department. The further they went the weaker Zeref felt and the more muddled his mind got.

Eventually they reached the very center of the department where there was a small sitting area of red couches. Zeref was relieved to be able to sit down. His noble countenance was beginning to slip as he struggled to continue hiding his disgust. Mavis took a seat next to him and said nothing.

As minutes passed Zeref began to realize that something was very very wrong. Mavis didn't usually remain silent for this long. She would hum or whistle or sigh or something. But she was only ever silent when she was plotting.

"Zeref?" she spoke up drawing his attention. "Why haven't you introduced me to your family yet?"

Mavis stared at him with a serious look on her face. And Zeref knew he was trapped. For the past month he knew this was coming. How many times had Mavis tried to gently slide into the topic? How many times had she drawn attention to her own lack of family in a way that had frankly been uncharacteristic of her?

Zeref had avoided the issue entirely. It wasn't that he was ashamed of his brother. In fact he was rather proud of the excitable pink haired boy. But he knew that there were few people who felt the same.

Natsu was friendly and easy to get along with for the most part. But throughout their lives many people had drawn attention to the fact that he was being raised by his older brother. Zeref was some six or seven years older than his baby brother (he somehow always managed to lose track) and the two didn't exactly share many physical similarities.

Naturally there were whispers and rumors about them. Some people saying that Natsu was illegitimate, or that Zeref was actually being paid to care for the boy, and many other ridiculous things. But things only got unbearable whenever his brother acted up. Natsu was an emotional boy by nature, and as a result he got into fights more often than not. And when that happened the rumors would switch from the brothers legitimacy and go into Zeref's capabilities as a caregiver.

And Natsu never stood for that.

Zeref would have been flattered if it weren't for all the disgruntled old women who would show up on their doorstep and complain about his brother tearing up their flowerbeds or pulling pranks out of some sense of retribution. Thankfully the older boy had always somehow managed to quell the anger and scold his brother accordingly.

Natsu eventually outgrew his petty attempts at revenge, but only after he had garnered the reputation of a prankster. A reputation that he still very much deserved as he continued pulling pranks on people well into his teens. He had refined the art to the point that he hardly ever got caught red handed anymore, though everyone knew it was him who'd done it.

Even with all the small annoyance his brother heaped upon him, Zeref still wasn't ashamed of his brother. In fact he rather thought that Mavis and Natsu would get along rather splendidly. Both were limitless bottles of energy that brought excitement to his otherwise quiet bookish existence.

What scared him more was what Mavis would think of him after finding out about his situation. It was one thing when nosy old women and middle aged busybodies questioned his skills as a caretaker. But if Mavis ever thought he was a terrible brother Zeref wasn't sure he would be able to take it.

Mavis sat on the couch next to him quietly awaiting an answer. Swallowing, he tried to find some way out of the situation. Why did his girlfriend have to be such a clever girl? If she'd been just a bit dimmer he probably could've talked his way out of this.

"Zeref," Mavis repeated crossing her arms. "I'm waiting."

* * *

Lucy Heartfilia once again questioned why she had never gone home with her boyfriend. Natsu had invited her to come over for dinner multiple times now, but she always weaseled out of it with some excuse. If he didn't buy that she had to do some grocery shopping, or she had to clean her house she would always make up the excuse that she had been putting off her novel for far too long and that she had to buckle down and work on it. Only to then go home, order a pizza, and lie on her couch watching tv alone.

It wasn't that she didn't want to go and find out what Natsu's home or family was like. In fact it was an insatiable source of curiosity for her. She couldn't help but wonder if, like her, Natsu lived on his own. And if he did, whether or not her took proper care of himself.

If he didn't live on his own, who did he live with? What were his parents like? Did he have any siblings? All were questions that Lucy didn't have the courage to ask Natsu directly.

Natsu never openly spoke about his family. But unlike her, it never felt as though he was deliberately avoiding the subject. Lucy herself hated talking about the strained relationship with her father.

But she never got that feeling from Natsu. With him it felt more like it was just something he didn't feel the need to talk to others about. Afterall he always invited his friends to his home, so from his perspective anyone who had any business knowing about his family would find out about them then.

And Lucy would likely have found out all about his family if she was just brave enough to take up his offer. It was almost excruciating how shy she was about the whole thing. Every time she even considered saying yes, familiar self deprecating thoughts would creep into her head.

What if his family didn't approve of her? What if she said something wrong and Natsu got angry at her? And even if things did go well what if her and Natsu's relationship soured? Would his family hate her?

These fears and insecurities would play over and over in her mind prompting her to chicken out and turn down Natsu's well meaning offers. And it was beginning to put a strain on their relationship. She couldn't tell how much Natsu had actually figured out, but she could tell by the look on his face that he was beginning to question her many excuses.

Lucy didn't want to lose Natsu. He was a bit rough around the edges, sure, but he was also one of the sweetest people she had ever met. So she resolved to try and find a solution to the issue.

After considering many options Lucy concluded that if she could just get Natsu to tell her something, anything, about his family or living conditions than she could prepare. She could think up topics for conversation before hand, find something she could do to impress them, or at the very least maybe figure out their names. If she could just get enough information she was convinced introducing herself to Natsu's family would be a lot easier.

But there was the small problem of prompting Natsu into speaking. If she just started asking about it he would get suspicious. So she had to find some way for him to lower his guard and not pay attention to what she was talking about.

And the perfume store was the perfect way.

She felt somewhat guilty about knowingly making Natsu feel sick, but dammit it was the only way! And it wasn't nearly as cruel as trapping him inside of a car or something. At least in the perfume store he could get away.

She came to regret her decision.

Natsu was slumped over one of the counters, drool leaking from the side of mouth. The poor attendant had no idea what was happening and kept asking if she should call the hospital. Slowly more and more people were looking at them, and Lucy was frozen in the spot in complete embarrassment.

She knew her boyfriend had a sensitive sense of smell, and that sometimes it made him feel ill. But surely he had to be overreacting. There was no way the smell of perfume could ever render anyone this pathetically overwhelmed.

And that was when Natsu got sick all over the perfume counter.

Zeref was starting to crack. He kept trying to change the subject but Mavis wasn't having any of it. She just kept staring at him with that unflinching gaze.

Finally his mind got so fuzzy he couldn't think of anymore ideas. Zeref was left completely at Mavis's mercy. Knowing full well that any moment he would finally crack and spill the beans. Dreading her reaction he gave one last gaze around for something, anything, to distract Mavis long enough for him to make his escape.

As his eyes shot around the store he caught sight of a familiar head of pink hair. Zeref sat transfixed at the sheer unlikelihood of what he was seeing. His brother. In a perfume store. With a girl. Puking all over a display counter.

"Natsu?!" he yelled before he could think better of it.

Mavis blinked and allowed herself to look over at whoever Zeref was yelling to. It was enough of an opening for him to take off.

Lucy meanwhile, was freaking out. LIterally everyone was staring at the couple at this point. And all she could think of was how she could get Natsu out of the store as soon as possible before he started to get sick all over the employees.

To make matters worse the receptionist was screaming in disgust.

"That is so disgusting! Get him out of here!"

"I'm so sorry!" Lucy screamed bowing frantically. "This doesn't usually happen."

"I don't care just get out of here!"

Lucy flinched at the tone of voice and immediately turned to Natsu in order to help him only to find he was gone. Frantically she whipped around trying to find where he was as panic rose in her chest. Finally she managed to spot Natsu being dragged out of the store by some black haired twenty something.

She felt her cheeks burn as anger suddenly gripped her. Sure getting sick in the perfume store was gross, but that was no reason for some…. some… stranger to just carry her boyfriend off like a sack of potatoes! Ignoring the protests of the receptionist Lucy immediately gave chase.

* * *

When Zeref finally managed to drag his brother outside the mall he breathed in the sweet sweet fresh air. Sure diesal and rubber from the parking long was mixed into the smell, but dammit it was better than the perfume store! Gasping in the fresh air, he looked down at his younger brother who was flat on his back in much the same state as Zeref himself.

"That… was… horrible." Natsu huffed. "People buy that shit?!"

"Yes Natsu. I-It's quite… popular among…. young women." Zeref answered just happy he had managed to get his brother out of the mall before he himself had gotten sick.

"Wh-what were you doing in there?" Natsu asked.

"Not important right now. My cars right over there. I think we should go home."

"Yeah… that's…. probably a good idea." Natsu sighed.

Zeref helped Natsu to his feet, only to have to support the boy by slinging his arm over his shoulder and dragging him over to the car. Opening the door to the backseat he deposited Natsu into the backseat, ignoring his protests. He would have to make sure to roll down the windows so that Natsu could get sick out of the window or something.

He felt bad for just ditching Mavis like that, but damn it his brother needed him she would understand. Or she might get fed up with the whole thing and finally break up with him. Zeref dreaded the result.

Lucy ran out of the mall and looked around for Natsu and the weird man who had carried him off. Much to her horror the weird guy was actually putting Natsu into the back of his car.

Someone was kidnapping her boyfriend in broad daylight. After a moment of shock, fear, and contemplation. Lucy did the only logical thing.

Running across the parking lot in her high heels to build momentum, she leapt into the air, and shouted, "Lucy kick!" before planting her stiletto deep into the kidnappers smug face.

She'd done it. She'd saved Natsu!

"Natsu are you okay?!" she asked in a panic as her boyfriend stood up and stared at the now unconscious lump of flesh lying on the concrete.

"Zeref no!" a high pitched scream sounded from a few feet away.

Lucy turned to see what looked like a little girl running towards them.

Natsu jumped out of the vehicle and yelled, "Brother no!" before attending to the pathetic form on the ground.

Everything just kind of stopped for Lucy in that moment. Both the little girl and Natsu aroused the man who regained his sense surprisingly quickly considering.

Lucy stood there completely horrified and could only mutter out a stuttered. "W-w-wait wh-what….? Th-that's…. th-that's your… your brother?" Tears sprung to her eyes as the pieces slowly fit together in her mind. "B-But… but I… I thought… I-I didn't mean to! I thought he was kidnapping you! I-I didn't know he was your brother really!" At this point Lucy was full on sobbing and devolved into crying mess right there in the parking lot.

Mavis then decided that it would probably be a good idea for them all to head to her place for awhile.

* * *

"I," Lucy began sniffling for the umpteenth time. "I-I'm so so sorry."

"Really Miss Heartfilia it's alright." Zeref repeated himself for the umpteenth time.

"No it's not!" the crying blonde protested. "I kicked you! In the face!"

"Which was actually pretty impressive." Mavis piped in. "Seriously, you got some distance with that jump."

"Mavis you're not helping."

"But she is right." Natsu laughed. "You went down with one kick!"

"Natsu you're not helping either."

After somehow getting the still crying Lucy, the semi-conscious Zeref, and the carsick Natsu into the car Mavis had proceeded to drive to her apartment where everyone sat around the small coffee table with small mugs of tea sitting in front of them. Mavis had gotten the first aid kit and was currently attending to all of Zeref's scrapes, Lucy was petering out the last bit of her tears, and Natsu had raided the fridge the second he'd arrived and was currently munching on Mavis's spiciest peppers as though it was nothing.

"Natsu I kicked your brother in the face! You should be angry with me!" Lucy explained.

"Well yeah but you only did that cause you thought he was some creeper right? Honest mistake." Natsu shrugged like it was an everyday occurrence. "I mean it's not like it's your fault my brother was acting like a creeper."

Mavis nodded in agreement. "Really Zeref could have acted a lot less creepy."

Zeref sat in silence as though his precious little brother and the love of his life weren't talking about him like he was some trenchcoat wearing creeper. Instead he once again soothed Lucy by saying, "Really, it's no problem. You were just looking after Natsu. And I appreciate that."

Lucy sniffled one last time before asking, "A-are you sure? I mean, you aren't badly hurt?"

"Outside of a bump on my head? No. I'm not."

"Oh thank god." Lucy deflated onto the coffee table in relief.

After it was all finally settled, introductions were made, dinner was whipped up, and the four had an unexpectedly fantastic evening.

At the end of the night both Zeref and Lucy were relieved to find that their worse fears hadn't come to pass.  
Mavis thought Natsu was a fun and sweet boy. She gave Zeref a knowing smile every time he looked her way, as though she had figured out everything he had been thinking. Which wouldn't have surprised him in the lease.  
Lucy found it incredibly easy to talk to Zeref. He was much quieter and more bookish than Natsu, and the two actually had a lot in common.

Mainly that they had both been pointlessly insecure about their respective spouses. But as the night wore on, they both also realized that their little makeshift family was… weird.

Really really weird.

And they wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

(( A oneshot I wrote for a prompt sent to my tumblr page. The prompt was Zeref and Natsu revealing themselves as brothers in public. It was probably supposed to be dramatic but this came out while I was writing.

hope you enjoyed it!))


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